It Sounded Like An Interesting Call

One of the reasons I joined the job was to help genuine innocent victims of crime and to make sure that justice was served on the crooks that make people’s lives a misery.

A large percentage of the time though is wasted by people who misuse the police to score cheap points or to get something done.

The other day a call came out that the informant’s neighbour was in the street armed with a machete. It sounded like an interesting call and we took it. As we raced along busy streets my mind thought to what would greet us when we arrived on scene. Either it would be a machete-wielding maniac that could need CS spray or use of batons to comply with our instructions, or it would be all quiet on our arrival.

In typical fashion, it was the latter so decided to approach the door of the house where the neighbour with the alleged machete lived. Holding my baton covertly in my hand, I was surprised to see an elderly woman answer the door.

“I’m just unlocking the door,” she shouted through the glass pane as I heard the noise of a key clicking into the lock.

I took a step back from the door in the unlikely event that she would suddenly spring out armed with some sort of weaponry and was almost disappointed when I realised she wouldn’t. She looked confused to see us and I explained why we had been called.

“My neighbour came to my door threatening me,” she said. “But I never unlocked it and I most certainly was not waving a machete about,” she added almost indignantly.

I began making my way next door when the door flung open and a young man, about 22 years old age appeared looking quite excited.

“I called you,” he said as he pointed at the elderly female my colleague was talking to. “She’s crazy, let me show you what she’s done.”

He began walking down the side of his house into his back garden and I followed somewhat confused.

“What I need to do is find out why you’ve called us,” I started to say.

“Yes, I’m showing you,” he snapped.

He took me into the back garden where I could see there was no fence between their adjoining gardens.

“I put up a line of string across the length of our garden to mark out where a new fence would go and look it at,” he pointed, almost disbelievingly.

I looked across and saw a limp bit of string attached to one stick. I looked back at the man confused.

“Sorry, what seems to be the problem?” I asked politely.

“She’s cut my piece of string,” he said glaring at me. “Can’t you see? That’s criminal damage, I want her arrested and charged please, it cost me £7 to buy that ball of string.”

I nearly laughed out loud from frustration. Whenever a police officer responds to an emergency call, there are always risks involved. Driving through the streets with blue lights and sirens can be somewhat dangerous, to us and to other members of the public. I accept that everything is done to minimise the risks, but there is still a risk and sadly sometimes people do get hurt when mistakes are made. I don’t mind risking my safety to help a genuine victim in an emergency. But what I cannot stand is timewasters who risk lives by abusing the 999 system.
“You called 999 because she’s cut your string,” I said slowly.

“Not just that,” he said annoying. I was beginning to dislike him more by the second. “She’s cut it three times now. I want her arrested.”

“She’s an 80-year-old woman,” I said.

“And?” he said, his tone of voice getting higher in pitch as he became more agitated.

“You said she had a knife…”

“It was a machete.”

“Ok machete. But she didn’t open her front door, she hasn’t committed any offences.”

“I see,” he said angrily. “You’re not going to do anything. Well thank you very much for your help,” he said sarcastically.

“What I advise you do is don’t put any more string up if it’s winding her up and let the council do it when they plan where the boundaries are.”

“Fine, I’ll take your shoulder numbers and report you.”

I left the property feeling confused and frustrated. Technically I could have arrested her. But there was no way I was going to arrest an 80-year-old woman for a bit of string. It most certainly was not in the public interest and I like to think I applied common sense. Whether or not I now get a complain out of it remains to be seen, but I await it with humorous anticipation.