Targets Are All Wrong

Sitting in a small booth, cooped up for hours on end with no fresh air and just plastic cups of water for company, I was beginning to learn what it was like working in a call centre.

The air conditioning machine had been broken for days and the old windows wouldn’t open enough to dispel the stifling stagnant air.

I had been working at the company for a number of weeks and my job was to cold-call members of the public to try and persuade them to answer questions relating to a specific service they had recently used.

Often people were confused over the call and unwilling to help but every so often I would come across a gem of a person who would want to give their opinions and help me get one step nearer to achieving my target. I received a basic wage for my troubles but had an elusive target which if I achieved, would get me a bonus.

Short of cash one week, I changed my working tactics and began pushing harder than ever in a bid to reach my target. I got in earlier, skipped lunch and was the last to leave at the end of the shift. After a gruelling number of hours talking, persuading and convincing people to answer questions I eventually hit my target. Overjoyed that I had achieved it, I took my confirmation slip up to my supervisor who eyed it suspiciously.

“The target’s just been increased,” he said lazily.

My heart started thumping with frustration.

“What do you mean, increased?”

“To be honest, too many of you were hitting it, so we’ve raised it,” he replied without even looking up. “Good effort but keep trying.”

I walked back to my booth furious at the underhanded way they had changed the goalposts.

So perhaps you can imagine my shock when I joined “The Job” and learnt that I once again, would have targets. I would have targets for the number of convictions that I secured. Targets which, many people struggle to achieve and which simply adds extra pressure to the job.

“It’s like being a salesman,” someone told me not long after I had started.
The target brings unusual working practices and arrests that border on the ridiculous up and down the country.

One West Midlands’ officer was told to caution a man who had thrown a glass of water over his girlfriend. Another woman was arrested on her wedding day after her foot slipped on the accelerator pedal and her car damaged a car park barrier. A man from Cheshire was cautioned for being “found in possession of an egg with intent to throw” and a child from Kent was arrested after removing a slice of cucumber from a sandwich and throwing it at another youngster.


I could see the relief in people’s faces when they hit their target knowing they could now focus on real police work for the remaining few weeks of the year. Until that is, the senior management appeared, wearing a similar expression as my call centre supervisor. I recognised that look anywhere and knew what was about to come.

“Ladies and gentleman, well done to the majority of you in reaching your targets,” one of our top cops said. “Be aware that it has now risen for this year and you will not be getting points for as many offences as you did last year.”

When I spend my time dealing with a sudden death, sitting with an assault victim at hospital, breaking world-shattering news to a family that a loved one has died or been killed, sitting on a crime scene or helping an elderly person who is confused or lost, I am not hitting any targets. In the eyes of the management team, I am not working, and I will - I have been assured - be hauled into their offices at the end of the year and made to explain my figures.